To Risk It All
by ColiOli
Summary: In this world, it wasn't man or woman. It is human or the living dead. Daryl realizes that if he were gone, the one's he has grown to care about would be lost. Almost being bit by a walker makes him realize how fragile their lives are, which leads him to being angry at Rick for not using more caution. Their secret relationship when all eyes are turned away.


They try and hold onto pieces of who they once were. But like beads of water cupped in the palms of hands, those distance memories slip through the cracks and are absorbed into the ground which is a hell worse than any dream ever imagined. Their identities slowly slip away and who they become and will become in time, is unknown and left to the events that happen in time –shaping and molding them into demons or saints, like clay giving way to be changed at the hands of it's creator.

"What are you going to do once I'm dead?"

"That won't happen." His voice is steady in contrast to the wild creature forming before him.

They stood in a secluded room of the basement, seeking privacy after Daryl came back from the woods shaken up and in a rage. He had entered the room where they all sat and ate, the usual scene –Beth feeding Judith and Carol folding the clean clothes. Carol had set to take after him, but Rick dismissed her and chased after the man himself. Daryl had kept walking, slamming his fists into random objects or walls along the way. When Rick finally caught up to him, he found Daryl pacing the same room in which he had last seen his brother alive.

"You know very well I could be! If you keep stretching me thin like some sort of work dog!"

"You're no dog, Daryl." His exhausted eyes bore into the man's before him, one hand resting on his gun –a stance he felt was more relaxing than if he actually let his muscles rest for a change.

"Don't you say that. The way you treat me? I get you all need me, but damn, let some things just rest from now and then. The work will get done, and you won't have me out there half delirious and that much closer to losing my guard and getting bit!"

"What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed, half in irritation that he always had to work his way into forcing Daryl to open up.

Daryl scoffed, stomped his foot and frustration before turning away and finishing his rant, throwing his arms in the air. "You can't just force me to get up every day, every minute, and go solve every problem. I understand that it's not easy, and there are kids we got to protect. I almost got bit today, and I know it would not have happened if I had at least got a couple hours of some damn sleep!"

Rick closed the space between them and placed a hand on Daryl's shoulder trying to get the man to face him, but he wouldn't budge. After Daryl still refused to budge, Rick gave up his efforts and decided to just speak calmly instead. "What do you mean, you were 'almost bit'?"

"It's nothing. Just let my mind slip." He sighed, knowing Rick would press him if he weren't more specific. "I let my guard down is all."

"That's not nothing Daryl!" Rick paused. The irritation came forth in his comment. How could he protect everyone if Daryl were gone? And better yet, how could he live with himself now knowing that he never put Daryl first after all the sacrifices and hard work he committed. "That's not nothing." he repeated.

"Then let me get some rest now and then for Christ's sake!" He brushed Rick's hand from his shoulder and took another step forward. Most of the time, he would do whatever Rick asked. They were partners and always had each others backs. He knew though, that if Rick didn't ease up on him, then there was a big chance he would no longer be here to protect the ones he had grown to care about.

And that scared him. Because he knew too damn well that Rick couldn't do this all on his own.

The rage began to stir up in Daryl once more. Rick did the next thing he knew to do when time's like this came up, and no one was around to witness the secret they shared. Ever since Lorie had died, even before then to be honest, they had accepted that the world would never be the same, and no moment was worth wasting without the comfort of another human beside you. In this world, it wasn't man or woman. It was human or the living dead.

Rick closed the distance between him and Daryl. The warmth of body heat welcomed him as he pressed his chest against the back of the younger man. Daryl stood tense, still not ready to accept the apology Rick was about to give. But that was fine with him. He was at least letting Rick wrap his arms around his thin frame, allowing them to rest across his abdomen.

"You need to eat more," Rick spoke into his ear. It had been at least a month since they last held each other, and just in that short time he could feel how different Daryl's body felt.

Daryl who had unknowingly been holding a breath deep within him, let it out as he felt the man's words dance around his soul. These times were rare, but when they happened, they were vacant of any effort to hide secrets from one another. There were times when Daryl would allow Rick to feel his body –it's curves or it's secrets, such as his scars. His fingers were always gentle, as if trying to memorize those grooves in his skin, rather than to think too much on them. And that was one thing which was always desired about Rick –he never pressed. Not like those girls did who he seldom brought home from the bar. The one's who wanted to "fix" him.

Rick had long accepted that in this world, the prior world was not left to be fixed. Who they were before meant nothing to what they dealt with now. Sometimes Daryl did tell him if his thoughts lingered on one scar for long. Sometimes. Rick always listened. Never judged.

There was the scar along his forearm, a small hole sized one, which he had done to himself at 17. The story was hardly interesting, just an angsty teen who took a drastic measure in order to subside his anger by using the tip of a burning cigarette. It wasn't very intriguing, in comparison to the one's on his back which told a darker tale.

He felt soft kisses brush along his dirt colored neck. His head lolled back, greeting the many more which created a ache from deep within. The kisses turned into little bites, some forcing a shaky breath or a moan to surround the prison walls around them.

Just when Daryl thought there would be more, Rick suddenly stopped and rested his head on Daryl's shoulder. "I'm sorry I overworked you. I don't know what I, –what we, would do without you. You're more than just a member of this team. You're a leader."

Daryl sighed, finally allowing his shoulders to relax. Those arms around him always felt so strong and accepted him at his worst. "Thank you." He said after a moment of silence.

How long they stood like this, neither knew, nor cared. The sun had begun to dim away in the small bared window above their heads, letting them know their time was running out before someone would come seeking them out. Their time was always stretched thin.

Daryl felt Rick's arms forcing him to spin around, so they could face one another. Ricks fingers brushed the cheekbones of Daryl's face, before leaning his own head forward and resting his forehead upon Daryl's.

"I care about you." Rick spoke softly. His fingers continued to sooth soft lines on his cheeks.

"I know."

"Next time you don't think you can step out there safely, you need to let me know when I ask it of you. I couldn't stand doing this without you." Daryl softly nodded in response.

Rick let his fingers drift under Daryl's chin, and lifted it up so their lips met. Their kisses were always soft at first, and always filled with warmth. Lips parted several times, before Rick pulled away, feeling this could go no longer without satisfying himself. They had little time for that these days.

Instead, he pulled Daryl close to him and embraced him in a comforting hold. Both rested their heads on each others shoulders. The sunset through the window cast a shade of pink through the windows –perhaps the only beauty which shone through from the outside.


End file.
